Drawing the Line

This is still very new to me. I've had VERY important people in my life pass away but I was younger, they weren't completely dependent on me for care, and they were older and sick. So holding my beautiful son one night and then not the next is still hard to understand. And while I know that my Grandpa and Aunt Deb are looking down watching, I FEEL like Maxton is all around me. He is with me in the car and in bed snuggling between his Mommy and Daddy. We have "Max Time" while I am in the shower...I completely let my thoughts go and I get to talk to my little man. Kevin says this is ok for now but in about 10 years I probably shouldn't be talking to my son while I'm naked. :) I want to include him in things so I have one of his socks stuffed in my purse and I carried around his pinwheel like I was a proud Mommy. It makes me feel better knowing that I can still physically have a part of Maxton with me. But this is where it gets confusing. I'm not sure where exactly to draw the line on these things. I went to read to Max's grave last weekend and I really felt close to him. I liked it so much I thought that I should just go back later that day with a towel and my swimming suit to get a tan. Obviously that one crossed the line as my family looked at me like I was crazy! :) I want to "include" him in future family pictures but I don't want to look like a lunatic.
So I guess what I'm asking is for everyone to be patient with me. If you see me talking to myself, or rocking my stuffed turtle, or laying in a cemetery just smile and know that I am "with" my Max and that I am not crazy and I will eventually figure everything out.

Little "I love you" Gifts

I know that I got this trait from my Mom and I think it's pretty cool. For every holiday she picks up little gifts for us kids. It's usually nothing big... just something that says "I'm thinking about you!" I picked up on this idea when my super cute niece, Lyla, was born. I really like finding little "trinkets" that I think will make her happy or are cute. Every holiday is a reason to get her a gift. :) This 4th of July however I've found it a little harder to get in the trinket mood. You see I was very excited to have such a cute baby boy to also buy fun things for. And while I still get to buy toys for Maxton I'm a little more limited in my purchases. While other mom's tend to grab shovels and water floaties I went for the one item that I thought was cute and would stick in the ground...a patriotic themed pinwheel. Right now it's sitting in a vase on the TV stand waiting to be placed on Max's grave. I'm proud of myself for carrying on in the "tradition" that I wanted to create with Max but I have mixed emotions about that pinwheel. Some days it makes me smile to know that Maxton would have loved to watch how it turned. And other days it makes me hurt...knowing that a dumb pinwheel was the only option I had for my sweet baby's "I love you" gift. But no matter how the day ends up I try to remind myself that I was lucky to have at least a little time with most important (miniature) man in my life!

Blog started 3/31/11 1:30 pm I'm so excited...

...that I just can't hide it! I think Kevin is starting to get annoyed with all of my sporadic comments. But I can't help it! Every time I do something I think "I could be a Mommy next time I fold laundry" or "Next time I drive down this street I could have a Max in the backseat" I mean this is important stuff! :)

I didn't blog about this earlier because I didn't want to jinx myself but here is how the last week played out. As I posted in the last blog, Dr. K was out of town so I saw a different Dr. on Tuesday and was dilated to 3cm. Well Wednesday my husband went out of town for a little ski trip (to make matters worse he was with my Dad and little brother) so three of the most important men in my life were at least 8 hours away. Kevin missed our birthing class and was embarrassed to tell 5 other pregnant women he left me so close to my due date so he made me tell them he was on a one night business trip! Coward! :) My BFF Heather went with me instead. Mom came down on Thursday afternoon to stay with me. Thursday evening Ashley, Jennie, and Heather threw a shower for all of my Wichita friends! It was fantastic...ice cream bar, cup cakes, and great people! Thursday night as Mom and I were putting away the gifts I felt something a bit strange. I grabbed myself and made the "oh crap" face and the first thing Mom thought was that my water broke...could you imagine what an ordeal that would have been?!? Well it wasn't my water breaking but I did lose my mucous plug so neither of us slept very well that night. I just knew we would have to call the guys and make them come home. We went back to Hoisington for the weekend and I spent all Saturday with family and friends (ok really I think they just passed me around so that I was never by myself but that's ok with me). My mom also went out of town on Sat. so I had very specific orders to walk slowly and sit whenever possible! :) The guys came back Saturday night. Sunday afternoon was Neen's bridal shower and then we headed back to Wichita Sunday evening.

FYI: This blog was actually started on Thursday, March 31st over my lunch break from work. I was planning on completing the blog and posting week 38 Max pictures later that night but as you all know... Max was born that night!!! So here are the pictures from week 38.

To complete the post I have to add that I had another Dr.'s appointment on Tuesday the 29th. At that time Dr. K stripped my membranes and told me to cross my fingers that we would see each other again in a few days in the delivery room. Sure enough--he was right! I started having contractions around 11:30 Thursday night and tried to go back to bed. I couldn't take it anymore and woke Kevin up about 3:30 am. I also called the Dr.'s hotline and she told me that even though the contractions were about 3 min apart they might be Braxton Hicks and to take a Benadryl. Ha! They were real and around 4:00 am we headed to the hospital. I stayed there for an hour and didn't progress any so they were going to send me home but then Max's fetal tones weren't right so they ended up admitting me. Mom and Bryan showed up about 6:00 am and the games began! I'll post more later as my little munchkin is stirring.

Max Update: Week 37

We are already 1/2 way thru week 37...can you believe it? I feel like I still have so much to do. In fact, the sticky note attached to the bottome left corner of the computer labeled "Things to do in the next three weeks" reminds me that I have only crossed off 2 of the 6 "things" I want to get done before Max. And although I plan to continue working on that list my opinion about the arrival of Max has changed! Before I wanted everything to be structured and set up and ready...right on schedule. But now I say "Bring it on!" I'm ready to see my little guy/girl whether the house is dirty or not. :)
This may or may not have something to do with my increasingly huge feet! I swear they look like snossages. And I didn't know that when something swelled up that it hurt...I just thought it looked funny. Ha Boy was I wrong. :)
In all honesty I can't complain! I am nearing the end of this journey and I have been one lucky girl! I can handle 1 month of ugly feet in return for a beautiful Max!

Dr. Appointmet updates:
-Max's heart rate was 144 BPM.
-I was dilated to a 3 and was 70% effaced.
-I gained .6 lbs for a total gain so far of about 23 lbs.

Pictures for week 37:

Kevin said this one had the perfect angle...it shows just how big the Max bump is! :)

On another note my co-workers have started placing bets on Max's arrival. They have a sheet where for $1.00 you can guess the date, weight, and gender of Max! Then they are donating all of the money to our little baby! I work with some pretty darn awesome people! :)

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

The Final Countdown

26 days! Yep...down to days everyone!


I started ideas for today's blog last night and the hubby talked me into watching a movie with him instead so this will be short and sweet!


I still feel fantastic but I think I'm slowing down? Kevin and I went grocery shopping on Monday and when we got home I had muffin tops for ankles. You know how the top of the muffin always spills out over the wrapper...that's what my ankles looked like over the tops of my socks. :( I propped those puppies up and they went down soon enough but they looked pretty gross for a while. And today I have the day off. So I decided that I needed to get a few things done "just in case" Max decides to make an appearance early. So I created a list and went running around Wichita from 9 AM until about 2 PM. I got lots of things accomplished and even got to eat lunch with the hubs but man am I tired! I used to be able to shop for 2 days in a row...well not with this huge ol belly. After I finish this blog I'm probably going to sit my bootie outside to enjoy the weather for a bit and maybe even take a snooze.

Week 36:

This appointment was great!

-I gained 2.3 lbs...yeah for me and all the fruit I've been eating!

-Max's heart rate was at 160 BPM.

-I am dilated to a two and 60% effaced.

Holy Cow! I know that I could be dilated at a two for a week or even a month but this is all starting to become so real! My baby could be here tomorrow for all I know! I've started to do this weird thing where each time I do something like take a shower or put on makeup I think "This could be the last time I ever do this in peace." :) Because really tonight could be the night?

The Final Countdown

Woo Hoo!!!! We are officially at 35 weeks. And while I am very excited about meeting our little "love muffin" I am becoming very aware of the fact that this meeting could happen at any time.


I have started feeling what I think are Braxton Hicks contractions but hello...I've never had contractions before so how am I really supposed to know? All of the books and magazines say that I will begin "dropping" before Max's arrival so every night I look in the mirror and try to remember the exact location/shape of my huge belly. Ask me if I've noticed any difference? Nope...and I'm not sure that I will! :) This stuff is harder to pin-point than the books make it out to be. So I have decided that Max will just have to follow his/her Momma's plan and be here exactly April 12th...it is written on my calender in red and circled which makes it official right?




Here are the week 35 baby bump pictures:

And for those of you that were wondering about last weeks appointment here is a quick update.

-Max was an active little thing and his/her heart rate was at 162 BPM.

-This ever so hungry Momma gained another 5 lbs in 2 weeks. Dr. K said that at 20 lbs I was still doing ok but that I should shoot for gaining no more than 10 lbs in the next 5 weeks. So I've been eating apples and grapes like they were going out of style and waddling up and down the stairs many extra times throughout the day. Let's hope that helps balance out the occasional Arby's sandwich! :)

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Woopie!

We were getting ready for bed last Thursday and I let out this super strange giggle/yelp/screech and Kevin didn't know what was going on. But that was my "super excited because our baby is getting so close" noise. I've been so darn excited about getting to week 30 and I'm not sure of the importance of that week in particular but it seems like a milestone. So I let out the joyous noise and did a little dance before going to bed! Woo hoo for almost week 30! On the same note I am also excited that my appointment with Dr. K on Tues marks the start of going to the Dr. every 2 weeks as opposed to every 4...which again means that Max will be here before too long! Holy Toledo!

Through the first 6 months of pregnancy I didn't really think I was having very strong cravings but I realized recently that yes, I sure do crave certain things. I'm still stuck on beef but more precisely, Arby's beef and cheddar sandwiches. And I could eat oatmeal every day...probably twice. As far as sweets go, I don't want them but that hasn't stopped me from eating them lately.

I've been trying to get back into the groove of working out lightly. Since all last month I was "focused" on gaining weight I didn't do much in terms of going out of my way to walk or bike. I've started to feel a bit "fluffy" and have decided that I miss getting a little sweaty. I'm completely ok with gaining weight for Max I just don't want to gain a ton and then have a terrible time getting rid of the after baby junk. :) So in the last 2 weeks I've walked/waddled on the treadmill a few times, swam, biked, and used the elliptical. It feels REALLY good and I'm glad to be back on the bandwagon.

And this might be TMI but recently my pubic bone feels like it is being ripped apart in the middle...ok maybe not quite that painful but it isn't comfortable. I read on the Internet that my hormones are starting to "separate" my bones to prepare for giving birth. If that's the case bring on the pain! I can't wait to see my Max!

Here are the Baby Bump pictures of week 29 day 4 of the Max Journey.

Baby Max Update

Let me say I have been one lucky girl. I feel great! I'm not sick, I still move really well, and I'm rockin the hot mom fashions! :)

This is the Max Bump at about 24 weeks.

The only really weird part is sleeping. I'm usually a back/stomach sleeper and as you can guess that doesn't work so well. I've been using a pillow between my legs while on my side and that seems to take quite a bit of the pressure off of my hips.
Max is a mover! Sometimes when I put my hands on my belly I swear I can feel actual little feet moving around. Every night/morning my belly looks and feels like the 4th of July night sky...boom, boom, boom-boom. He/She sure is active! But this is such an awesome feeling and I wonder what he/she is thinking while kicking around in that tiny space.

Max is now very visable from the front!

I've been keeping my friends and family updated on Max's size using the bump.com's measurement chart. The last 2 weeks Max has been the size of an eggplant...which really means nothing to me...I don't know that I've ever paid attention to the size of an eggplant? But what really hit me was the average size for a baby at 26 weeks: 13.6 - 14.8 inches! Can you believe that! There is a little baby in me that is longer than a ruler! Where is there even room for that? I see my stomach growing but it hasn't grown THAT much! Really this whole process is {amazing} to me and I'm as happy as can be!

This is baby Max saying Happy New Year at 26 weeks!

I hope everyone had a Very Merry Christmas and a fun New Year!

Here's to knowing our 2011 will be filled with new adventures at every turn!

I can't wait!

The {UGLY} truth...

It's been said a few times that I was a "not so cute" baby. And while I feel this statement has been overused by some (Kevin) I believe it is "somewhat" true. Take this picture for instance. I'm not hideous...just a bit pudgy with squinty eyes. Ok and my head is kinda funny shaped. I feel it can also be said that Kevin was a "not so cute" baby. Take for example, exhibit 1 shown below. The kid looks like he just went to the dentist but I honestly believe that was him giving his [good] smile! :)

That baby ugliness didn't last for too long...look at us below! All smiles and loving life!
There were however some awkward stages along the way...I think we had matching glasses? And with the help of contact lenses we grew out of the geeky look. And look at us now! Who would have thought these two semi-good looking people (I inserted the word {semi} here so that I wouldn't look conceited ;) ) came from those funny looking babies?

So while it seems that baby Max as no hope for being a cute baby I would like us all to remember that the baby stage doesn't last too long and that to a mother, a baby is ALWAYS cute...at least that's what our Mom's told themselves. :)

We love you baby Max and to us you are already the cutest thing in the {World}!